Let’s talk about cannabis and my experience with it. Maybe it can help you in some way? I sure hope so:
I live in Utah, yep I sure do!
(This photo was from 2017 at Temple Square before the big re-construction--- I worked there and at Discovery Gateway at the same time for 6-ish months before deciding to work just at Temple Square)
In 2016-2018 I was a work-a-holic with 2 jobs from age 19 to 21, Not only did I enjoy working, but I loved running, doing errands for myself and others, cooked for people, planned parties, hiked, fished, got in 10,000 to 25,000 steps a day, volunteered at places like museums, colleges, other events, made and kept tons of friends and dated a lot (thank goodness I'm married now, to my best friend of 8ish years- no more of that chaos), I did a lot, and even wanted to do more, I have an adventurous spirit full of motivation, energy, love, exploration.. I loved doing things! .... until my chronic illness symptoms started creeping up on me, heavier and heavier, ultimately causing my suicidal thoughts and Borderline Personality Disorder symptoms to expose themselves more prominently and come to the very surface of my life and only got worse from there the moment I quit working my last job around 21/22 years old due to my heavy suicidal ideation, high amounts of pain and exhausting chronic fatigue.
Around age 24/25 I decided to start trying cannabis products- CBD+THC gummies. It was illegal the way I did it, a friend gave me some, every so often- I ultimately got my own medical card around 26 years old. I’ve been using and researching cannabis for a few years now. Cannabis has helped me FAR more than any prescribed drug, cream, pill, powder, suppository, vitamin, ointment I’ve had in the last 20 years. I’ve tried thousands. And cannabis has certainly helped with, again, FAR more than anything I’ve ever taken.
Paired with a larger intake of fiber, fruits, protein and veggies along with a good walk or some form of cardio- cannabis has changed my life drastically in a miraculous way.
I’m still in pain and still irritable when not experiencing at least a tiny cannabis high- but that’s simply because I’m still figuring out what strain and form of cannabis is best for my body and certain symptoms I experience from my chronic illness and BPD.
I believe if cannabis was 100% legal in the US (of course with regulations like other prescriptions have), it wouldn’t only just help people like me, medically, but I believe it would help the country financially and economically.
The symptoms of BPD that cannabis has helped me with (personally- and only when it’s fresh in my system):
I have a more stable sense of self (self-image)
Little to no anxiety
Zero suicidal/self-harm thoughts and/or behaviors
Far less impulsive desires
“Splitting” is almost non-existent
Zero chronic emptiness
Irritability and Anger is almost non-existent
Zero disassociation
Little to no fears of abandonment
My energy levels go up (again, Sativa is great for energy, Indica is best for night time and sleep)
In 2021 I typed up a list of all my symptoms I was experiencing (which I still experience in 2023). Here's that list:
(scroll on if you truly don’t care haha)
-Heat intolerance
-Tingling in heels
-getting up constantly to urinate at night.
-pain and stiffness in neck, shoulders, lower back and knees. No swelling really. Pain is so bad that it hurts too much to lie down and sleep. Therefore I don’t much.
-constant fatigue
-red rash on cheeks, nose, forehead and chin that appears randomly but frequently. And is also very dry. And stings especially when I apply moisturizer on it.
-I get joint stiffness a lot
-I lose circulation in my arms and legs a lot. But only if I’m sitting on the floor or bed a certain way.
-sometimes I get random sharp pains in my chest. It randomly happens but it’s frequently. I used to think it was a heart, lung, kidney or liver issue but I had all those things checked out through the years and those are all good.
-I’ve noticed that my muscle pain in my neck and shoulders can be extremely painful for a whole month but than for the next month it’ll be less painful and more manageable, but than the next month it starts back up again.... like every other month it’s the same old thing. Especially with my rash and my knee pain.
-muscle spasms
-lower back pain far worse during period
The symptoms of Chronic Illness that cannabis has helped me with (personally- and only when it’s fresh in my system):
Far less muscle spasms
Less chronic fatigue (But only with Sativa strain. Fatigue gets worse with Indica strain)
I can handle quite a bit of summer heat
Urinating a normal amount
No sharp pains in chest or back
No joint stiffness
No tingling in heels
Less muscle stiffness
To sum it up… medications aren’t bad but only certain ones work, I personally refuse to ever use medications again (anti-depressants, sleeping pills, anti-anxiety, anti-inflammation, muscle relaxers, anti convulsant, anti-psychotics, opioids, steroids, pills, shots… etc.)
Medical marijuana is a good thing to look into. Talk to a doctor and ask about using medical cannabis. And remember, all bodies are different, what works for me may not completely work for you.
Let’s end the shame and stigma based around cannabis. Not only is it a great medication for millions of people but it is phenomenal in many aspects of life!
Hemp plastics has been known to biodegrade after 80 days, meanwhile regular plastic bottles are made out of polyethylene terephthalate and take 450 years to decompose.
Hemp in 3-4 months can grow to produce over 50,000 commercial products (wood, paper, cotton, plastic- anything oil can be used for).
Fabric made from Hemp is one of the most durable and soft fabrics out there!
Hemp is also an edible vegetarian protein that includes all essential amino acids, as well as omega's 3, 6 & 9 essential fatty acids. Best of all Hemp is renewable and doesn’t need to be genetically modified because it is naturally resistant to pests and weeds.
All in all— a plant that can clothe, fuel, shelter, feed and medicate SHOULD NOT BE ILLEGAL. Not everyone wants to get high, some people just want to get better. (Not that I'm judging anyone who loves a good high, I'll be honest, I do!)
Cannabis is a gift from God! Let's utilize that gift!
Love,
Aubs
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