“I quietly rage within the silence, where you left me cold and bare,
Abandoned by the wayside, in the shadow of your stare.
You watched as I retreated, shamed by who I am,
While you basked in fleeting joy, I pondered what I might have done.
You cast me off like trash, worthless in your eyes,
Lured me with false friendship, beneath deceitful skies.
With open heart I sought you, arms wide with hope unfurled,
But you led me to your hollow, your cult-like, vacant world.
You whispered care and kindness, then vanished like the night,
Your absence left me wounded, your betrayal seared so bright.
No closure to the chapter, no solace for my ache,
Just remnants of a friendship that was nothing but a fake.
I'm hurt by how you played me, with charm that turned to dust,
Innocence now shattered, left only with mistrust.
I deserved a better ending and not this cruel, unjust charade,
For in the ruins of our bond, a deeper pain was made.”
-aubs
July 8, 2024
In my deeply vulnerable poem, Lilly's Vanishing Act, I try to elaborate on mean girl culture within the Mormon church and try to capture the deep hurt and betrayal I felt from a girl who pretended to befriend me only to use me as a means to fulfill her church’s agenda. She lured me into her world under the guise of friendship, only to cast me aside once she achieved her goal, treating me as if I were nothing more than a number on a baptism list. Her disdain was always evident, hidden beneath a superficial kindness when adults were near. Over time, her true feelings became impossible to ignore. As we grew older, she discarded me entirely, leaving me with a profound sense of mistrust and a shattered innocence. This poem reflects the pain of being manipulated and abandoned, and the longing for a friendship that was genuine rather than a cruel deception.
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